Sweetest Dreams

-Audio Player-

How do I tell you,

how it feels
to know
I’m leaving…

How it feels
to know
that I might never
have the chance

to show you
my sweetest dreams…

I’ve tried
to see other people,

and they’ve given
their love
so willingly.

But,

I can’t
let go
of you.

I see you
in their smiles.

I see you
in their sadness.

I see you
so clearly

that their voices
dissolve
in the wind

and I free them
like flowers
slave to gentle breeze.

I know,

you don’t want my love.

You don’t need my love.

I know,

that you’re looking
for yourself
out there
in the wild.

I’ve watched you
sinking slowly
beneath the surface
of despair.

With tired lips
I’ve regaled you
of my sweetest dreams.

The blanket of my love
waits to warm you,

my hand reaches out,

and the bitter cold
bites my flesh
as you splash about.

I know
you can’t see me.

I know
that you’re fighting
with all your might
to keep your head
above water.

I’m sorry

I couldn’t save you
the way
that maybe
you once believed
I might.

But,

my words
run dry,

and my tears
lose their voice.

I’m leaving…

And,

In my sweetest dreams
you tell me
not to go.

In my sweetest dreams
you finally understand
that I’ve never needed you
to be any more than you are.

In my sweetest dreams
you forgave me
for all the times
I’ve drowned myself
reaching for you.

I’ve never cared
how much it hurts
to love you,

I know
that you’re broken,

I know
that life has been cruel,

I know
that you’re doing your best.

You’re beautiful to me…

Beautiful
the way
it feels to sing loudly
on long drives.

Beautiful
the way
dragons
hoard treasures.

Beautiful
the way
it felt
to hear you laugh
for the very first time.

Beautiful
the way
I awake smiling
from my sweetest dreams.

But,

I have to go…

Because,

I HAVE to go…

I have traveled the world.

Yet,

The Sound
has become
the largest
body of water

I have ever tried to cross.

Maybe someday,
you’ll defeat your demons
and wonder what has become
of John and his madness.

I hope you’re happy that day,
and that you smile as you watch
the sunrise.

I hope you find peace.

Because, you’ve deserved that,
and so much more…

And maybe someday,

I might show up

in your sweetest dreams.

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Published by John Onyx

A poet of the lost, the found, and the in-between. I’m interested in collaborating with photographers, musicians, and videographers on larger projects. Feel free to email me at me@johnonyx.com if interested!

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