I have always enjoyed
wearing suit jackets…
because
something about
wearing a suit jacket
inspires a confidence
that is favorably reflected
in the eyes
of beautiful strangers
You see…
I’m looking for myself
in their smiles
when she turns away shyly
and brushes her hair
from her face
playfully careless
I am reminded
that I am God
and all that pride muffles
the high pitch ringing in my ears
left lingering
from an emotional hand-grenade
detonated two decades ago
that maimed my soul
but never quite managed
to take my life
You see
I’ve always enjoyed
wearing suit jackets
because
no one hits a child
in a suit jacket
no on starves a child
in a suit jacket
no one guilts a child
into believing
that his existence
is the only thing
binding souls
to a cruel world
filled with mouths of blood
and with necks
decorated in shades
of purple and blue
no one ignores
his silent screams
when he’s wearing a suit jacket…
so
I learned
to tuck my wounded heart
into breast pockets
and buy rounds for the bar
my smile dances
on puppet strings
as my dark stranger
tries so hard
to convince the world
that I am not broken
that I am worthy
such an empty feeling
yet each time still
I stitch my pride
into patchwork quilts
of all the reasons
you wouldn’t love me
anyway
if only you knew me
without my suit jacket