Time to Time

I wrote a poem for you today…

I guess,

it is my way
of talking to you
when I’ve almost forgotten
what your voice sounds like…

When I meet new people,
the first thing I look for

are the shadows
in the lies
of your best smile.

Do you love yourself?

Do you?

Things I say in the bathroom mirror:

Maybe a subtle
scent of sadness
is sexy.

As if happiness has a certain scent
that even my best lavender softener
could pretend to be.

I giggle to myself

Sir?

Sir?…

Are you lost?

I’ve been noticing lately
you talk down to yourself

a lot more than you should.

Did you bind your demons
to bits of bytes?

Or are you still fighting
most every night?

These Instagram micros
and poetry pages

tell tales of the typos
you’ve been making for ages.

They make it sound so easy.

Homie,

love yourself…

Yet I’m learning Facebook followers
won’t hold my smile up forever,

and likes and hearts
don’t help me fall asleep
really any better.

I sense
how deeply you hope
the people in your life
will be patient
as you lose yourself

from time to time.

Because, for all the great
and many things
I believe in you for,

you love making
bad decisions.

As if it’s your own
very special way
of punishing yourself

for crimes you committed
while punishing yourself

for crimes
you’ve forgotten.

Omission
is a form of dishonesty

and you should demand more
of your memory
from time to time.

The one thing
I could never really
understand,

was why
you can’t believe
you deserve all the things

you’d so readily give
to anyone else.

It’s criminal,

but what do I know?

I’m just your honest
reflection in the mirror.

What do
I know?…

Well…

I know
that you’re healing
from wounds
made from worlds
that no longer exist.

I know
they tell you
depressions a condition
not disease

and that
you’re finding that
harder and harder
to believe.

I know
it’s not
too late for you,

and maybe
one day
you’ll believe it’s true.

I know
all these terrible
and beautiful things
about you,

and I still love you…

and I still love you.

and I still love you.

You beautiful
beautiful
fool.

And I am
patient enough
to wait for you
as you lose yourself
from time to time.

So think of me
when you smile
into the bathroom mirror,

because I’ll smile back
every time

until the end.

I wrote a poem for you today,

and I hope it reminds you of me

from time to time.

Published by John Onyx

A poet of the lost, the found, and the in-between. I’m interested in collaborating with photographers, musicians, and videographers on larger projects. Feel free to email me at me@johnonyx.com if interested!

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